Given up on Romance
by swordleviosa27022
Summary: One-shot. Jade Anderson left leaving a heart broken Remus behind. Now he sits in the Leaky Cauldron reminiscing all he had and all he had lost. Will Remus ever be able to move on? Will he really need to? Would she return?


**ATTENTION! THE CHARACTERS OF THIS STORY DOES NO BELONG TO ME. I JUST PENNED A IDEA WHICH BELONGED TO MY BEST FRIEND. IF ANYONE DARES GIVE ME ANY CREDIT I WILL PERSONALLY GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND KNOCK THE STUFFING OUT OF THEM. THE CREDITS GO TO WITCH CRIMSON 1505. THANK U, U MAY NOW READ ;)**

_The dedication of this story is split to ways. To ammy whose idea it was and to my viewers. Thank you guys for the 1500 views :) I love you. If anyone of u hasn't read my main story, please do _

Remus sat in the leaky cauldron, unconsciously twirling the empty bottle of butter beer he had earlier been drinking. He glanced at the clock which hung on the wall behind the main counter. Squinting he could barely make out the time, the pub was too dimly lit. It was 8 o'clock sharp.

He didn't even know why he had even bothered coming here, he knew well enough that she wasn't coming. He knew that she had already said goodbye. Still, he felt restless and a part of him wished that she would walk from the door and greet him with her warm yet mesmerizing smile.

He watched the candle as the wax slowly melted. The flames flickered and went out. Smoke bellowed from it and Remus turned away from it. He couldn't help but dwell at the thoughts, thoughts of what he had had with her, of what he had lost now.

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

Twelve year old Remus Lupin watched the door of the great hall intently. He wondered when the sorting was going to begin, for the sooner it would begin the sooner it would end. And then, the feast!

There was a slight, low thump and the door opened. Professor McGonagal entered, leading a wave of first years inside the hall. The elder students watched impatiently as the younger ones nervously stumbled to the front of the great hall.

Remus could sense all of theirs' scents, but after so many years of being a werewolf he was accustomed to this. Then, a scent which he immediately seems to like hit his nostrils, it smelt oddly like a forest after a long season of rainfall. He surveyed the first years but all of their scents were mixed up and he couldn't trace whose it was.

That was the day the smell of a wet forest became his favorite scent, the day she entered his life.

:::::END FLASHBACK::::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

It was a quidditch match, Hufflepuff verses Ravenclaw. Unlike Sirius and James who considered missing a quidditch match a sin, he wasnt interested and decided to visit the library. He was mentally planning his charms essay as he opened the door to the library.

Madam Pince gazed disapprovingly at him, clearly annoyed that he had disturbed her during the time she had expected to be free and alone. Nevertheless, Remus reckoned the librarian could never look relaxed, she would always seem stern.

He entered the table area, intending to dump his parchment on the table and then go to hunt for books. As he entered the area, the thought of charms was chased out of his mind. He smelt the scent again, and there was only one person there.

The first year with ebony black hair which was slightly curly was hunched over a piece of parchment. Nibbling at the feathers of her quill. Her face was bowed and covered by the curtain of her hair, thus he couldn't see her face.

Making a instinctive decision, he gathered all his bravado and strode to the table where she sat. "Would you mind if I sit here?" he asked her politely.

She looked up from the parchment and for a moment, Remus' breath was caught in his chest. Her eyes, a soft caramel colour were rather quaint, and her round face and dinty nose seemed to just beautify the picture. God had made quiet a piece of art.

"oh..Remus Lupin! Sure!". She then turned back to her parchment and just continued staring at it still nibbling the feathers. He glanced at it too, ah! Transfiguration theory.

He sat down and arranged his parchment and quill. Careful to not disturb her, he kept his belongings at a safe distance. "So...how do you know my name?" he asked her, remembering that she had called him Remus even though he hadnt met her.

Much to his surprise, she laughed. "It's a bit hard to miss if you are living with the unofficial Marauders' fan club".

"We have a fan club" he exclaimed surprised. Sure, he had expected James and Sirius to have a fan club but not himself.

"Yep" she mumbled, nodding into her parchment.

"Are you a member?" he asked her as casually as he could muster, he really did want to know but wouldn't let his desperation show.

She lifted her head and raised a eyebrow at his, mutely saying -do I look like a fan to you-.

Remus smiled and said "apparently not". Inside, he was glad. The last thing he wanted was talking to a girl who would squeal at his every word.

"So...I don't know your name" he said trying to break the uncomfortable silence,

"Jade Anderson" she said smiling at him.

"Can I help you with the homework?" he said after sometime, seeing clearly that she wasn't getting anywhere by just glaring at the parchment and mutilating her quill.

She didn't even say yes, sighing with relief she scooted close to him and pulled the parchment to the center so that both of them could see it. Remus took a deep breath trying to stop his rapid heart beat. His heart was beating eractically at the nearness to her. Trying to appear cool and calm, he smiled and started to explain.

That was the day he first saw her close, the day he first talked to her.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

"Are feathers really that tasty?" he asked her, lifting his head from his homework. After that day they had taken to helping each other at homework, though truth be told Remus did most of help. Thus on Friday, the two could be found sitting in the library on their own table under the envious gaze of two girls.

"huh?"

"every time you do homework, you start nibbling the feathers of your quill" he answered her.

She looked surprised and glanced at her quill. She watched the bended feathers with renewed suspicion and then shrugged "never noticed"

"Stop doing it" he advised her though secretly he thought it was kind of cute, nevertheless it couldn't be very hygienic. They both turned back to their homework and continued working in harmony.

"Do you know that your fan club has been trying to kill me" she asked him with the hint of a laugh in her voice.

"What!"

"Yeah, Eliza Walker tried to trip me down the stairs yesterday. She is the president for the Remus Lupin Unofficial Fan club"

"Now I got a fan club for myself too" Remus sighed.

"Don't sound too pleased" she warned him.

Maybe it was just Remus mind, but she sounded annoyed.

"I have got sugar quills in my bag if you want them" he said after sometime observing that she was once again began chewing the poor feather quill which he knew would soon need a replacement.

"I would love them"

That was the day he saw something in her eyes which was beyond friendship.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

Jade laughed as she pelted him with snow balls and then ran away, her long hair which had escaped her cap flying around her. The scene seemed oddly animated, as if it were something taken out of a movie, that was the thing about her; she made his life seem perfect.

He took a fist of snow and rolled it into a ball before chasing after her, his boots slipping on the white snow. Sirius and James were in a corner, resorting to magic to have a full blown snow fight. He took aim, closing one of his eyes and sticking out his tongue. With a mighty swing he threw it towards her.

She laughed before jumping into the air to avoid the small ball. It missed but Remus barely noticed. As she jumped upwards, she turned her face to the skies with her eyes closed. Her laugh seemed to unnaturally yet beautifully reverberate in his head.

That was the day he found out about her mesmerizing smile.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

It was past midnight but still Remus could be found sitting in a chair in the common room. There was a storm raging outside but all the students were protected by Hogwarts and her strong walls. All the occupants of Gryffindor tower were asleep except him.

He stayed awake waiting for Jade to return from wherever she had disappeared to. She had seemed pretty annoyed when he had tried to accompany her to the library so he had let it go. This gave him enough incentive to believe that she had gone somewhere else, they always visited the library together.

For one heartbreaking moment, he wondered if she was off with some boyfriend of her's. He then mentally scolded himself, even if she was he had no right to be jealous and bitter. He couldn't be with her thanks to his condition so the least he could do was give her his blessing when she chose someone else.

Remus drowsily watched the clock blinking a lot more then it should be necessary. He kept on glancing from the clock to the portrait hole, hoping that the doorway would open to reveal a Jade. He looked at the table in front of him. His own books, quills and parchment were scattered across it and mixed with them were Jade's things. His frown deepened, she must have been in a hurry to leave to her things unguarded.

Thankfully after the long wake the portrait hole opened. Remus who had earlier almost fallen asleep jumped up and turned to the portrait hole. His heart sank as he saw who waited for him.

It was Jade and for that he was thankful, thankful that she was okay but she was crying. Her hands clutched a book to her chest as wet, transparent tears cascaded down her cheeks. Her lower lip was arched and since her eyes were clenched shut, he could safely believe that she was oblivious to his presence.

"Jade?" he asked her in a low whisper, genuinely concerned about her. A million questions raced through his brain; had something happened to her parents? Or maybe some other relative?...

As he had expected, she jerked and dropped the book she had been holding. She looked up and for the first time in his life he saw something in her eyes, she had never looked at him with those eyes, eyes which held so much betrayal and...fear.

He was more surprised when she launched herself at him and slapped him.

He breathed rapidly as his cheek began to smart. What had he done? Already he could feel a small amount of anger seep into him, who was she to come and slap him around.

"That's for not telling me!" she cried.

Not telling her what? For once he glanced at the book which lay at her feet and his heart sank further. The cover of the book explained the fear, it explained the betrayal...it read werewolves.

His breath quickened as she turned back to her anticipating her next move. A dread which was purely his own was beginning to settle in, she had found out his biggest, darkest secret. He had thrown himself into hiding the secret from her, trying every possible excuse to cover up his monthly disappearances because he had been so afraid of losing her.

She again surprised him and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. Remus who had been expecting another slap flinched. His arms were hanging loosely in his sides making him feel rather awkward. Atlas deciding to enjoy the moment which to him was a stolen one, he lifted his arms and wrapped then around her.

"I of course don't give a damn shit but trying to figure out your stupid problem made me almost fail Transfiguration. You could have just told me you know. I once got so tired that I decided to just ask you but considering how hard you were working on hiding it you would probably have a nervous breakdown if I asked and then Sirius and James would come hunt me down..."

Remus smiled, he knew that she would go on for about one hour, that was how she vented her anxiety. As they moved to the couch, Remus let her continue letting the soft chime of her voice lull him to sleep.

That was the day he realized that she would leave him for nothing.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

Remus was walking down the corridor, carefully arranging his books in his hands. The last thing he wanted to do was cause damage to one of Madam Pince's precious books. He pulled them out so that the smallest was in the front and the big leather bound one in the back...

He heard commotion from the end of the corridor and frowned. Most of the students were in their dormitories already. Deciding to go and investigate, he moved to the end of the corridor holding his wand aloft.

Lucius Malfoy had Jade pinned to the wall with brutal force by her arm. She winced and tried to move her face away but Malfoy held her close.

"I know what you did you filth little mudblood" snarled Malfoy,

The words themselves made him blood boil but watching the anger flash through Jade's eyes made him even more reckless. As she twisted her hand trying to free herself and Remus noticed for the first time how close the two were. A new white hot anger shot through him.

He saw her swing her leg backwards and he realized that she was going to kick him. There was no need, dropping his books to the floor not caring at all when his ink bottle shattered he moved forwards. Without saying a word he took hold if Malfoy and threw him off with a growl.

He came to stand protectively in front of Jade who whispered "you didn't need to do that you know, I could have beat him up myself"

"of course you could but..." he didn't get to finish his statement as Lucius shot off the floor and launched himself at them. Remus caught Malfoy's fist before it could come in contact with his face and twisted his hand. Malfoy let out a strangled cry as Remus growled "never touch my girl!"

He felt a small hand on his back and with a slight pull let Malfoy go. Though he wanted to beat him within a inch of his life for touching Jade, he didn't think it was worth getting expelled from school.

"Your girl?" Jade asked with a arched eyebrow. He could detect a faint flicker of hope in her eyes. Remus hadn't even realized he had called her that, but in his thoughts she was always his, even he had the right to dream about a life and love that was restricted to him.

Remus' heart raced against his ribs. This could be the moment, the moment he would admit to the secret he had once decided to take to his grave. He made the right decision as he tightened his hold on her right arm. For a moment he realized how fragile she was and how easily he could break her. All thoughts were driven away from his mind as he ***************************

That was the day after which he could proudly call Jade Anderson his girlfriend.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

Rain thumped all around them as Remus twirled her around, round and round.

They were cold and their coats were soaked. It was dark and they were probably breaking many rules by staying outside but that didn't hinder them and they remained happy

A bolt of thunder slashed through the skies and for a moment he could see her face. Her hair which looked like the sky itself was stuck to her face but even through the dark curtain of her hair he could see her contented smile. She had her eyes closed and claimed that it was much more fun if you couldn't see but Remus couldn't close his eyes. She was so perfect, so perfect that he was afraid that if he closed his eyes she would disappear.

His back and legs ached from the transformation be had undergone a few days ago but he let her be. How could he destroy her happiness? How could take away the scene of her beautiful smile away from his eyes?

So, they spun around and around not caring that they were breaking the rules, they were in their own world of rebellion.

That was the day he realized that she was beautiful.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

:::::FLASHBACK:::::

"And where are you going all spruced up?" Sirius asked Remus with a raised eyebrow. Remus sighed, he was an idiot to believe that he would be able to sneak out of his apartment without Sirius knowing.

"Is Moony going on a date?" James asked from the couch.

Remus whirled around to stare at him "James! What are you doing here?"

"Lily gave me the couch" James shrugged casually and Remus had to resist a laugh, James always got the couch "she didn't mention which couch that was supposed to be so I thought yours is a lot cozier" in other words, James had run away from home after annoying his pregnant wife.

"Well I am off" Remus announced hoping that they forgot about him and just carried on doing whatever they were doing.

"So you are going on a date!" Sirius cried triumphantly.

"And since when is it any of your business" he snapped before leaving the room. He could hear Sirius singing "Moony is in love, My lupine friend is in love..." and shook his head at his childish antics. He still couldn't understand what unearthly power had possessed him to buy an apartment which was in the same building as Sirius'.

While he made his way to the beach where they were to meet, he wondered what she had wanted to tell him. When she had told him she needed to tell him something important she had sounded so urgent, not to mention desperate.

As he reached the beach he looked at the moon (which is not the full moon) and sighed at the beautifying effect it had on the still, unmoving mass of water. He cautiously looked around and wondered if it was a coincidence that the beach was entirely empty. Shrugging it off as a lucky situation, he waved his wand and smiled gently as a slim, red rose fell gracefully into his hand.

He felt movement behind him, smiling he turned and his smile just broadened at the sight of her. That was a special thing about her, she could make him smile even when the situation of mot dire. This night though was anything but dire.

She was wearing a long muggle dress which ironically was also red. Her hair was pulled back into a lose bun so that some of her hair escaped it. she wasn't wearing any thick make up just red lipstick which seemed to make her lips stand out against her white skin evoking within him a passion so deep for a moment he was left breathless.

"You look beautiful" he breathed after sometime, she just smiled though Remus could detect a small blush creeping up her cheeks. He then remembered the blood-red rose he had conjured and presented it to her.

He was startled when she shook her head and pushed it away, she would usually just have smiled and taken it. She bit her lip and Remus wondered why she was so uncertain, what was she nervous about?

"Look Remus" she began after taking a deep breath "the time with you….it was great, but…but things just moved too fast. One time we are best friends and the other time we are in this serious relationship which is on its way to our honey moon and….when I was young I wanted to do so many thing and none of them were done because I was bound so tightly to you and…and…"

It seemed she couldn't go on and resorted to looking at him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand. He did understand, but he didn't like what he understood. He had realized in his second year that Jade was a free spirited girl and couldn't stay bound to anything for long. That was what hurt him, why did she feel as if she had been forcefully bound to him?

"So you are basically saying that…" Remus needed to know, he needed the final straw put in. if she wanted out, he would let her go.

"It's over" she clarified in a low emotionless voice "….goodbye"

A numb feeling settled in Remus' chest as he looked at her, rendered speechless by her words. It was over. The truth of the words hit him full force and he felt as if it his heart were being wrangled brutally. He couldn't face her, how did one look into the eyes of the woman he had loved his whole life and face the fact that it is time to say goodbye?

He turned his back towards her. He couldn't watch her slip away right through his fingers but at the same time he knew there was nothing he could do to stop her. He told himself that not all was lost, she might still return to him but he knew that the chances were very bleak thus he couldn't console his heart with the small flicker of hope.

He turned around. He had to say goodbye but was faced with nothing more than empty space. He felt his heart break into a million pieces and he could feel the corners of his eyes burn. He blinked furiously, he wouldn't cry! He took a shuddering breath and decided to leave. He couldn't stay here, not where he had lost such a big part of his life. As he turned to leave but spotted the rose laying on the ground.

He looked at it and remembered the moment he had conjured it, the spell had been fuelled by nothing more than his love for Jade and now as she was gone he could see it's edges smoke as the rose withered to the ground. A single tear clung to his lashes before dripping down onto his cheek. He turned his gaze to the empty beach ahead of him and whispered "goodbye"

That was the day he gave up…on romance.

:::::END FLASHBACK:::::

Remus glanced at the clock and sighed in defeat. It was 10 o'clock and he knew for sure that she wasn't coming. He had thought that his heart had given up on any hope he had tried to hold onto but now he realized that he would never be able to let go. How could she have moved on? Had she moved on?

He got up from his table in the corner and stretched his aching muscles. Dumping a sickle on his table and walked to the door. Once outside the dark and gloomy pub he turned on the spot and apparated back to his apartment.

As per instinct he hurriedly glanced around ready for some type of trouble. Non came and he peacefully entered the building. As he walked through the hallway he passed the door to Sirius' apartment and contemplated for a moment whether he should enter. He chose against it deciding that he needed his space at the moment. Maybe sometime alone would help him straighten out his conflicting emotions.

As he reached the door to his apartment he dug inside his pocket and sighed thankfully as he heard his keys jingle underneath his hands. The last thing he wanted was to find himself locked outside his apartment. He jammed his keys into the lock and swung the door open.

Switching on the lights he squinted slightly as the light hit his eyes. As he had been sitting in a dark pub for so long it took him a moment to get used to the lights.

Once he had blinked the dark patches in his vision away he dropped his keys onto his living room table and pushed the button of the radio. He felt a sudden need to fill the earsplitting silence with some kind of sound. He collapsed onto the couch as music filled the apartment.

"I could use a dream or a genie or a wish

To go back to a place much simpler than this  
Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'  
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion  
And all the pandemonium and all the madness  
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness  
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap  
And you hoping but them people never call you back"

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. The apartment felt so bare without her there and for the millionth time in that week, he wished she was there.

Little did he know that his wish had come true.

On the other side of the door Jade nervously gripped the fabric of her dress. She watched the door with a sense of foreboding while she mentally cursed himself. A few days ago she could have entered the room without a moments hesitation but surely her foolish actions had made her unwelcome.

She raised his hand and curled it into a fist. She wasn't surprised when it began to tremble but gathering all the bravado she could muster she knocked the door.

Remus frowned suspiciously at the door wondering who had knocked. The people who came to meet him never bothered to knock. Shrugging it off as a lost person who had incidentally stumbled upon his door and was looking for guidance he got to his feet.

He clicked the lock and threw the door open.

There was a sharp intake of breath as he saw her. A light blue dress clung to her slender form, showing off all of her curves. He had given the dress to her as a birthday gift but she had never gotten around to wear it. She wasn't wearing any makeup on the contrayer her nose was blotchy and her eyes puffy. Still, she looked as radiant as always.

He was surprised by her next move. No words were said as she let out a small sob and launched herself at him, wrapping her legs around his torso. Considering her small height and his tall one this move was easy. He was startled at first quiet sure it was a dream but then he decided that even if it were a dream he better enjoy it.

"I am so sorry,I am so sorry" she whispered furiously as she buried her face into his shoulder.

"shh!" he whispered softly and wrapped his arms around her steadying her. He buried his face into her hair and told himself that this couldn't be a dream for even his mind would never have been able to capture her exquisite scent. So, he inhaled deeply and marveled the fact that she was here at last.

He untangled himself from her. He wanted to look, just see her face. He wiped her cheeks with his thumb and pressed his forehead firmly against his. She squeezed her eyes shut and even now he could see a few tears escape. He could feel her warm breath on his nose, there foreheads were already pushed together and there noses were almost touching. He placed his arms on her shoulders as *************************.

No words were spoken that night and none were needed. They both understood each other perfectly even without words.

"can we pretend that airplanes

In the midnight skies

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now

A wish right now

A wish right no-ow"

**Review please :) if you do I will give you more crap to read**  
**I will give you more crap to read even if you don't review though lol.  
Please forgive any mistakes but this is kindda rushed and it is tooooooo long to be proof read.**


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